hate myself!!

i'm a useless daughter rite mama.. i know.. u dont know that i hate every bad word that i said to him.. i just feel something unfair! that's why i was saying that. :'( i know i'm a useless.. the more highest position i get, the more i become arrogant ! rite??  why is this happened to me?? if u're saying me like that, better u dont send me for tuition, dont say any motivation word nor bought me a chocolate.. i'm willing to not be the top if that wouldn't make u said like that.. i cant accept it if my own mama said like that to me.. i know yusri is your "mummy's boy" but dont ever compared him to me! why everything that happen between us, u always pointing that to me without compromise.. this is unfair mama! i dont hate him. i love all my siblings even i'm not show it.. but u always let him first.. tell me what is more at him until u become unfair to us??? we all can see it mama even u denied it.. seriously i said that i really2 sad..

p/s: i'm sorry ! :'(

Lots Of Love,
Myself

Dear AI II !

hmm.. dugaan buat seorang hamba Allah.. aku x sanggup nak memendam perasaan nie :( .. awak, x pernah sedar ke kehadiran saya.. awak betul2 sayangkan die kan?? gembira tengok awak gembira.. sometimes i think that relationship nie xkan boleh bawa kemana kalau kita x kuat n bercinta masa zaman remaja.. apa yg kita harapkan bila couple?? ofcoz nk hidup semati kan?? tpi boleh ke relationship masa remaja nie bawa smpai ke perkahwinan?? n yakin ke boleh menjadi kawan semula lepas putus?? just a few people je yg boleh mcm tu.. hmm.. :( xpelah awak.. nnti peluk cium iriss untuk saya?? rindu die .. :'( fiqa! jangan menangis lagi .. x penat ke?? bodoh !

Lots Of Love,
Myself

little scar!

i HATE you.. i LOVE u like a hell but u just ignore ME!!!this is too hurt.. i know that i dont deserve to be with ur family but please dont do like this to me.. i dont like it.. n i cant face it! please understand me, i'm not strong enough n i cant hold this anymore.. why u do this to me?seriously i wish that i can forget u..but why this is too difficult?? i dont want to know that u're close to me..plzz, just dont let me know.. it will make the scars deep in my heart bleeding.. please, i'm begging u! just leave me, dont play with my heart n dont ever come back.. just that i want from u.. get out of my mind, my heart n my life forever. :'( i'm tired of crying bcoz miss u.. I'M TIRED!!!! i miss u all the time but my tears drop for no used.. i never thought that i'll have the feeling of friendship like this.. good bye ILN .. wish u a good future no matter where u are..

Lots Of Love,
Myself

'sweet moments'

it was a 'sweet memory' of mine today.. i never though that i'll get that memory.. let me tell u the story.. today i woke up at 6.35 n ofcoz i was late, mama marah of me n ask me to go to school no matter what.. actly i've to reach school before 7am bcoz i'm a prefect so when i already late, i feel like dont want to go to school ;p , i was rushing to school.. i went out of my house at 7.05 n after 20minutes of riding the motorbike with my father, the police traffic at the traffic light n what so ever , finally i reach at the gate menengah at 7.25.. i feel so shame bcoz i duty on latecomers but i'm the one who come late.. (jangan ikot erk?) so when having that feeling, i didn't want to look at their face.. they that i write here are prefects whom duty on latecomers,, malu beb! bila xnk tengok, ofcoz la masa turun pon aq pandang tepi.. pijak punye pijak, kaki aq termasuk dalam lubang n bila dh x stabil so terjatuh la aq kat depan pintu sekolah..  hehehe, alang2 dah jatuh tu so aq terus lah duduk kat tempat aq jatuh tu.. ayah n pengawas yang jaga gate kat c2 dh tergelak2.. ayah cakap, nasib baik xde owg masa tu..malunya.. masa masuk dalam kawasan sch, prefect tu dh senyum2 tengok aq.. nk cover malu pnye pasal, aq buat2 la tnye whether aq dah dikira lewat ke belum.. nasib baik belum.. =) when doing addmaths ngan shaktisha dalam kelas tdi, she was asking me.. "fiqa, kalau cikgu masukkan awak dalam kelas cemerlang, awak nk x?" i was shocked.. i dont want to change class.. i love dinamik already.. lots of fun i've in dinamik.. not willing to move to another class.. she said that Pn. Salina nk masukkn 6org dari kelas cem masuk din.. sedihnya.. so ofcoz akan ad pertukaran kan?? sedih.. serious aq xnk.. =( hmm..  chilled fqa.. when playing 'true or dare' dengan geng tadi.. aq pilih true so this friend of mine was asking me who i hate among of them.. i told her that i dont hate any of them.. but the force me to tell them.. what to do?? serious i said that i dont hate them.. so i said dharshini.. hehe, sorry erk u.. dont mean to say that.. but it was just a game rite?? dont take it serious, plzz?? =)

Lots Of Love,
Myself

some memories that have been forgotten

assalamualaikum n salam sejahtera to all the readers.. (ada ke yang baca blog aq nie)
hmm.. whatever la.. yang penting aq bahagia.. aq nie membosan kan.. haha, memang aku mcm tu so lantak la owg nk kata ape.. aq malas nk fikir.. xde point pon kalau aq nk syg2 or jaga hati owg. last2 skali aq jugak yang skit ati so better aq wat xtau je..  memang hidup aq xkn berkembang kalau mcm nie.. ;p Mama Lina n Iriss pon dh xkesah lagi pasal aq.. hmm.. mcm mane lah keadaan diorg sekarang?? moga2 sihat sejahtera n dimurahkan rezeki lah.. aq xkn lupa untuk mendoakan dia org.. semoga bila aq dh besar n menjadi mak owg, aku akan menjadi a really great mother to my child.. aq ad pilih nama dah untuk anak aq.. hahah.. :p :-
Aniq hanafi,
Hamraa' Amani
ok x nama yang aq pilih?? haha, berangan betul la ko nie fiqa.. kalau Allah bagi rezeki kat ko, boleh la ko letak nama nie kat anak2 ko.. ;) aku suka lelaki yang agak nerd sikit tapi pandai.. pelik kan?? ntahlah, cume bagi aq, kalau owg yang blur2 nie, diorang boleh wat aku happy je.. muka tu ok2 jela.. xnk yang handsome sgt coz aqpon sedar siapa diri aq yang sebenarnya.. hmm.. dah2 la tu.. aq dh banyak merepek nie.. Dear AI, awak dh bahagia sekarang.. semoga bahagia awak tu berkekalan.. bila kawan2 sy happy, sy pon happy.. ;p Dear mama, mama sihat x?? rindu mama.. Dear Iriss, alot Of memories we shared together.. i hope u'll be back as iriss yang dulu..

"miera, nanti kita tulis novel sama2, ye?''
"haha! nnti iriss gelak bila Miera jatuh tergolek masa main ice skating"
"iriss selalu look after Xing Ring masa rehat"
"mama kirim salam sayang kat miera"
"miera2x! iriss ad beli something untuk miera, nnti balik m'sia, iriss bagi ok?? x sabar nk jumpa miera"

2 semua dulu.. sekarang dh xde.. sedihnya.. :'(

Lots Of Love,
Myself.

sayang mama n iriss..

orang xkan pernah tau siapa diri kita yang sebenarnya melainkan diri kita sendiri.. sakitnya hati ini bila kita dah sayangkan orang tu macam keluarga kita sendiri.. tapi dia tetap buat xtahu.. orang luar tetap orang luar, kan?? apa hikmah disebalik semua nie? kenapa aku dipertemukan dengan dia orang? kenapa mesti ada wujud rasa sayang macam keluarga sendiri kat diorang?? Iriss Layyamansa n Mama Lina.. i love both of u very much.. i cried again n again. seriously i said that i miss both of u so so so n so much :'( Dear Allah,, give me a strength to face all this.. i'm not strong enough.. this is too hurt n painful .. dont both of u love me as i love u?? iriss, kenapa cari Miera dulu?? kenapa iriss cakap yang iriss sayangkan miera dulu? why must you ignore me when i was about starting to love u as my sister?? apa iriss nak sebenarnya?? apa beza miera dulu dengan miera sekarang?? kenapa dera perasaan miera macam nie?? miera terseksa iriss.. serius miera cakap yang miera terlampau terseksa.. perasaan rindu yang terpendam nie boleh memakan diri miera, iriss.. bila agaknya Allah benarkan hati miera untuk hilangkan perasaan sayang miera kat iriss n mama?? :'( sedih.. kawan miera terkejut tengok miera nangis masa miera cakap yang miera rindukan iriss.. masa cerita pasal iriss, miera menangis.. sampaikan kawan miera say sorry coz mintak miera ceritakan pasal iriss.. nampak sangat miera rindu n syangkan iriss kan?? =) entahlah, iriss.. miera mintak maaf menyibuk dalam keluarga iriss n mama.. mama2X.. i love u so much.. thanks coz jaga hati miera even that's the lying from u.. i know you're great mom.. i've to write all this coz i can keep its anymore.. i've to ease my pain.. semoga kita berjumpa lagi, insya'Allah.. =)

Lots Of Love,
Myself

favourite quotes

"Jodoh yang tertulis kemas di Luh Mahfuz salah satu rahsia agung yang tersembunyi daripada pengetahuan hambanya selain urusan jodoh,pertemuan dan maut"

"kita tidak pernah tahu apakah kesusahan yang dihadapi oleh teman kita"

"kebanyakan masalah manusia datang daripada sikap mereka yang tidak mampu duduk diam dan senyap selama 20minit - Blaise Pascal "

"ada dua cara bagi memancarkan diri. menjadi lilin yang membakar ataupun menjadi cermin yang memantulkan cahaya"

"apabila perlu, paksakan diri senyum semanis mungkin. ini penting semasa kita dilanda masalah"

"a clever person solves a problem. a wise person avoids it - Albert einsten "

"The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking - Albert einsten "


"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert einsten "


Lots Of Love,
Myself

human being

i'm a useless.. now i hate myself.. i tortured myself by saying that i dont deserve any happiness.. i started to not enjoying mylife, being a reserved n even avoiding people around me.. :P nampak sangat iman x kuat! i've no mood in everything.. hope tomorrow is a brighter day n a new beginning to me.. Insya'Allah.. friends, doakan aq! need ur support.

friends is a people around us,
that always be there through our sad n happy,
from my days down n on,
they always there to keep accompany me,
to make sure that we've enjoyed our times,
u'll never realize it bfore u lost it..

Lots Of Love,
Myself

bukan hanya lafaz bicara

Mana mungkin rasa cinta ini,
ku curahkan untuk lelaki yang telah lupa,
Lupa pada cintanya pada pemilik cinta,
Mana mungkin rasa  cinta ini,
ku serahkan kepada lelaki yang kedekut,
Kedekut untuk mengucapkan ayat-ayat cintanya pada pemilik cinta,
Mana mungkin cinta ini,
ku amanahkan buat seorang lelaki yang culas,
Culas dalam melaksanakan amanah pemilik cinta,
Mana mungkin ku merasa bahagia,
Jika aku menjulang-julang peminjam cinta,
Tapi mengetepikan pemilik cinta.


Berkali kita diingatkan. Lahir sahaja di dunia, menjengah alam telah pun diazan dan diiqamahkan. Cinta kepada Allah,  adalah cinta yang agung dan suci.  Cinta yang sebenar-benarnya menuntut kesabaran,  ujian iman,  dan ketaqwaan.  Cintailah Allah,  dan Allah akan memelihara cinta yang tersulam indah sesama manusia.

p/s: rasa malu pula bila ingat balik betapa bodohnye aq mengagung-agungkan cinta seorang manusia! sedarkan aq!!! :'( menyesal gila, xpelah, semoga aq x ulang balik perbuatan aq tu. tapi aq cme manusia biasa. yang ingin dicintai dan mencintai. =( kuatkan semangatku, ya'Allah..

Lots Of Love,
Myself